


1 AM Jam Sessions

by Corvid_Knight



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Post-Sburb, chatfic, discussion of game mechanics, good bros, this is basically how dirk asks for help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 05:18:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15187652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corvid_Knight/pseuds/Corvid_Knight
Summary: Dirk has some questions about Sburb's decision-making abilities. (He really should be sleeping.)





	1 AM Jam Sessions

timaeusTestified [TT] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG]!

TT: Do you ever think about how the game's system for determining who died Heroically and who died Justly was inherently flawed?  
TT: Jane died, and the damn thing counted it as Just despite the fact that literally nothing that happened was her fault. It counted the actions of her body as her actions, regardless of who was in control.   
TT: And it failed to count John's first death as Heroic. Was that because he acted vengefully? Because he didn't realize what he was going up against? A combination of the two?

TG: d irk  
TG: its one am   
TG: why has your boyfriend not forced you to come to bed yet

TT: Because he's not home. Duh.  
TT: Why would the game rule my death heroic, when I'm anything but?  
TT: The kindest description of my actions would have to be "deluded."   
TT: Failing to hold my own in a fight isn't heroic.   
TT: Retraumatizing you by putting you in a position where you were forced to kill me wasn't heroic.   
TT: Fuck, it would've made more sense if it just flashed up "Just" when I died. But the stupid game can't get anything right.   
TT: But the mistake begs the question: why would it rule my death heroic?

TG: short answer is because youre a fucking hero you dumbass  
TG: i see you typing  
TG: stop that  
TG: delete it

TT: And why should I do that? 

TG: because youre laying out all the reasons you dont think youre a hero and most of them boil down to the facts that you have depression and you kind of hate yourself a lot of the time   
TG: and i get that you see that shit as valid but its really not okay  
TG: youre a hero  
TG: you also need to go the fuck to sleep

TT: I would rather consider game mechanics.

TG: dumbass  
TG: you sacrificed yourself  
TG: you stood there and you looked at me and nodded  
TG: told me you trusted me to do what had to be done  
TG: trusted me to save you

TT: I never expected you to save me.

TG: well fuck bro that catapults you straight into the realm of shining altruism  
TG: look out world because dick strider is goddamn galahad and jacks head is the holy grail

TT: That's...not even kind of close.

TG: the game thought it was

TT: The game's stupid.

TG: youre gonna hear absolutely no arguments about that from me dirk  
TG: the game was very stupid  
TG: but  
TG: its pretty on top of the whole heroism classification thing trust me

TT: I don't believe that.

TG: why

TT: What?

TG: why do you not believe it  
TG: bro what was your thought process when he had you pinned and you gave me the signal to play the fuckin decapitation game

TT: That you wouldn't do it until I gave you the okay.   
TT: Either I was going to die, or we both were, probably. 

TG: but you gave me the go ahead to do it faster

TT: Fast is a plus.

TG: true but you still made the decision to kill yourself for the greater good  
TG: like thats the definition of a hero bro

TT: I don't—  
TT: It's not. I'm not.   
TT: I am self-aware enough to recognize that I'm not a hero. Or even a good person. 

TG: ...  
TG: youre home alone right

TT: Yes. Until sometime tomorrow at least.

TG: well thats a state of affairs im not too comfortable with right now  
TG: your heads royally fucked up again and im willing to bet my shirt that youre laying on the kitchen floor in your underwear texting me

TT: ...

TG: see  
TG: im coming over and im bringing snacks and movies  
TG: terrible awful movies thatre just as ridiculous as the idea that youre not a hero  
TG: and im gonna feed you and tell you i love you and give you bro cuddles until you go the fuck to sleep  
TG: sound like a plan

TT: It sounds like something Karkat night be annoyed about.

TG: shut up  
TG: he cares about you too ya dork  
TG: ill bring him too if you want   
TG: more affection for you

TT: ...no.   
TT: Just you. If you're sure you want to come over.

TG: i am absotively posilutely sure   
TG: youre legally permitted to shoot me for saying that

TT: No thanks. 

TG: pfffft  
TG: fine  
TG: be over in a bit

TT: Alright.  
TT: Thanks.

TG: hey what are bros for if its not this  
TG: love you dirk

turntechGodhead disconnected!

TT: Love you too.  
TT: Goddamnit.

timaeusTestified disconnected! 

**Author's Note:**

> based on a Tumblr post that I have no idea how to find right now and written when _I_ should have been sleeping


End file.
